viernes, diciembre 30, 2011

Let's never spoke about 2011 again.

Inspired by my friend Ari's Blog, I decided to make one of those stupid, boring posts about the ending year, some sort of taking stock of what 2011 has been for me. Do not hesitate to stop reading when it gets too sentimental.
And I'm writing this as I watch once again one of my fav movies from when I was a teen, The Queen of the Damned (I know, it's dreadful, but the ost is plain awesome and Townsend looked kinda cool, though now he seems so tacky. Aaliya, however, is stunning).

So, 2011. In three words: long as hell (pretty much similar to hell in every aspect). It's been like going through hell and back, though I'm still not really sure I've come out.
The beginning of the year was a good pronostic of what the rest was going to be. I had the greatest argument with my dad on th 31st Dec and he stopped talking to be for 2 days. Then I went back to England and I got a flu. Health has been a hell of an issue this year: a flu, appendicitis, lots od skin problems I still carry...
Ups and downs throughout the first part of the year. May was sweet and sour; sweet as I got visitors and my best time in England and sour as I saw my rommie changing into someone I didn't know anymore, and I definitely didn't like at all. But summer was already there, the long promised summer I was waiting for years to have.
I had so much hope.

And love said no, as HIM's song. Once again, not enough, not chosen. Have you ever felt like someone ripped your heart from your very chest and squished it with his bare hands? I have. Oh, God, I so have. I cried until I got dry enough to fall asleep. So much I don't think I can ever cry again for love. I surrender; I'm not strong enough to go through this all again. I don't wanna love anymore.
I discovered this 2011 lots of people's true faces, and it has made me grew even more solitary than I was. I don't trust anyone anymore, nor I do rely on them.
On the good side...I have more money and I speak better English. Yeah, whatever, really.
And what about 2012?

I left my job, and I want to start all over again in the capital city. New streets, new faces, new job, more hope for a future that belongs only to me. It's been a long time since the last time I felt like my life belonged to me. I wanna be pretty, I wanna feel glamorous, I wanna make my life shine, and I wanna show everyone how fucking awesome I've always been.I want to have time for myself, to take care of myself, time to spare, time for singing, for drawing, for reading, time for dreaming awake and realize life's got better that my dream.
And as I always did, I plan to do this alone. I want to be strong enough to face all this alone. I've proved I am.

Vive Dios que vais a ver de lo que soy capaz.

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